Scene Outside My Window
Written February 2018
Paint my heart
With this scene—
Gulls of gray
against the
palest blue sky
imaginable,
With snowflakes softly
dancing,
teasing the paradoxical sun
A dome—
golden, shining, beckoning
Worshippers
To humbly come
Bow, genuflect
And kiss
Orthodox cross
standing watch
over the square,
saying
“Peace, peace,
Christ has risen
over you
my beloved
Northern Star…”
Forever etch and chisel
Upon my fading memory
These windows—
Pots of cheerful buds
(To remind us that spring
Will come, must come)
Or maybe growing dill
for our soup today…
Stained lace curtains
Framing murky glass
and last century’s
peeling peach paint
And if I look closely,
I may see
Anya or Fedya*
Peek out from
behind the lace
With pensive eyes and
ink smeared hands,
Searching for the
same inspiration
as I…
Will this snowy, sunny embrace
Last into my
last days?
Will my memory fade
Of the years I spent
In the land of the North?
I can’t lose this.
I can’t lose the pain
The pleasure
The paradox
Of this place--
My crucible,
Desert
Exile
Arena
Stronghold
Fortress
Home.
The Land of the North
Has scorched this heart
And frozen it
In turns…
Ah, Love never alluded me
Here—
Only
haunted me…
*reference to poetess Anna Akhmatova and author Feyodor Dostoevsky, both of whom lived in this area of St. Petersburg